My heart was heavy for the youth I had grown fond of. For the Learning Center with amazing kids and an even more amazing staff. For the other interns who were going back to their own schools or jobs. For the homeless people that were always there as I walked to work. For the city of Denver and all the lost and broken souls on its streets.
And as I reflect on my summer and all the people I met, I understand why I feel so soft towards a place that I so strongly disliked only a month ago. While I was there, and while I was writing my previous post, I was so focused on my own experience that I didn't fully realize that I was beginning to love Open Door and everyone there. And when all the crap went away, on my last week I began to feel it deeply for everyone I spoke to. Even for those who I didn't get along with very well or for those I rarely spoke to. I loved them.
I could write a lot about Christ's love and all the different ways we should be loving each other. But I want to zero in on the Learning Center and how the love of Christ was so plainly shown to me during my time there. One of my best intern friends, Grace, worked primarily with the preschoolers. It was so cool to see how much she cared for and loved on these little ones. I remember one time we were talking about some of the more difficult kids. She said that she can love them through all their bad behavior because she knows that who they are right now is only a reflection of what is going on at home and around them. They aren't old enough to understand everything that's happening to them. So they act out.
These kids would scream and cry and kick and bite. They were often blatantly and intentionally disobedient to the rules of the classroom. I saw all the teachers get angry and frustrated. But it was always clear that they wanted the best for the children. They always forgave and always treated the kids with respect and love. Most people would say this is just an example of good teaching. And while they're not wrong, I saw such a deep and genuine love that it had to be divine.
Another example of this love came when I heard a teacher apologize for the way she treated a kid. He was in time-out for whatever reason and I was lucky enough to eaves-drop on the conversation between the teacher and the kid. While she obviously still expected him to follow the rules and be respectful, she respected him enough to admit that she hadn't acted kindly and asked for his forgiveness. The amount of humility and vulnerability it took to apologize to the kid blew me away. It's not something you see from a lot of childcare workers.
Now, God's love for us has been compared to the way we love children so many times that I'm not going to pretend that I have any original thoughts on the topic. This was simply the first time I had been able to experience it and witness it and it truly blew me away. Their unconditional, vulnerable, overflowing love for children who weren't always pleasant to be around inspired me to be that way to everyone I meet.
This is the love I realized I was feeling towards the youth group; how badly I wish I had more time with them so I could get to know them even better. This is the love I felt for the homeless in that community that I didn't interact much with, but was always around; my heart hurts for the brokenness in that marginalized community. This is the love I felt for the other staff and interns at Open Door who give so much of their time in such a challenging environment.
It was deep and it was forgiving and it was God-given.
I pray God gives me the strength to live my whole life loving people like they do at Open Door. With understanding for unfortunate circumstances. With grace for past mistakes. With boundaries and healthy rebuking. With vulnerability of my own mistakes.
Much love,
Amanda <3
I would absolutely LOVE to talk more about my internship. I had so many experiences that are impossible to write down on this blog. So if you're interested or have any questions about the ministry or what I did there, please reach out to me! I'd love to talk to you about it.
I would absolutely LOVE to talk more about my internship. I had so many experiences that are impossible to write down on this blog. So if you're interested or have any questions about the ministry or what I did there, please reach out to me! I'd love to talk to you about it.
